I started here at MTV in May 2009. It’s funny looking back now; at the time, I really didn’t know anything about “Twilight” outside the name. I’m still not a fan, but I respect the fanbase that’s built around it and am well-versed enough in the series to talk about character relationships, main story beats and so on.

I decided shortly after getting here that I wasn’t going to read the books so I could experience the movies as standalone efforts, just another average Joe plunging into Stephenie Meyer’s universe with little more than a basic understanding of vegetarian vampires and skin that sparkles in the sunlight. Well I saw “Eclipse” last night and I figured I’d take some time today to share my thoughts on it. This will be more spoiler-light than spoiler-free, so consider yourself warned.

Overall, I found “Eclipse” to be the strongest of the “Twilight” movies thus far. A lot of credit goes to director David Slade for that. His action sequences, though few in number, are all very well-staged. The werewolves still look a bit goofy, but the final set piece showdown in particular is chock full of heavy hits and slick acrobatics. Even moreso than “New Moon,” there’s also just a stronger feel that this is a proper blockbuster adventure.

I also have to give credit to the stars. The much-talked-about tent scene towards the end — I finally get why everyone keeps mentioning it! — is probably the most human exchange yet across all three movies. Robert Pattinson is always stone-faced as Edward Cullen, sometimes a faint smile but always muted, and Taylor Lautner… well, who can pay attention to the guy when his flashing those abs everywhere? The tent scene is this sort of loose, conversational moment– instead of the constant Edward-Bella “Being a vampire is no good” and the Taylor-Bella “I love you and you love me but won’t admit it” back-and-forths, you have this exchange that just sort of feels natural. It’s a refreshing change of pace for the series, and I wish we could see that side of these guys more frequently.

I also really enjoyed the two flashback sequences, where we learn about how Rosalie (Nikki Reed) and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) become bloodsuckers in the first place. Those, and the bits of time we spend with Riley (Xavier Samuel), are good for breaking us away from — sorry Twilighters — the monotony of Forks. Frankly, I think “Eclipse” would have been even more enjoyable if a few of those Edward-Bella / Bella-Jacob / Edward-Bella-Jacob exchanges had been left on the cutting room floor.

The movie opens tonight at midnight, and I’m sure many of you will be there. Many more will filter into theaters as the week goes on. Now I’ve shared my thoughts; I’d like to hear yours. Let us know what you thought of “Eclipse.” Share it in the comments section.

One last thing, a question for you big fans. Also, SPOILER ALERT. At the end of “New Moon,” Edward pops the question to Bella, right? He does it again in “Eclipse,” at least two times, and she finally puts the ring on at the very end. Is that how everything unfolds in the books too? An inquiring non-fan wants to know.

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Review in a Hurry: The Twi-hards will adore The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, no matter what. It’s made for people who thought the first movie was quality cinema, after all, and for them, our grade may as well be an A+, since it’s slightly better than Twilight.

If you’re part of that crowd, feel free to stop reading right now.

This review is for everyone else. Those of you who may have heard that Eclipse is supposed to be the best, most action-packed, most mass-appealing of the franchise.

It’s not, and here’s why:

The Bigger Picture: As if you didn’t know, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner return for the latest installment of will-she-or-won’t-she make it with either sensitive vampire or abdominally enhanced werewolf.

In director David Slade’s hands, the story plays like two movies in one, neither being particularly well made, whether it’s the would-be action horror of a brewing vampire-on-werewolf fight or the endlessly talky Bella-Edward torpor.

Slade was considered an unusual choice as director for this third chapter in the series, a guy who supposedly earned horror cred with the more violent vampire voyage 30 Days of Night. But he has plenty in common with the Twilight series: two previous features that were generally overrated by fans, and a knack for creating characters nowhere near as appealing as they need to be.

His Hard Candy mistook a ballsy premise (teen avenger torments possible pedophile) for art while making neither of its protagonists likable, and 30 Days of Night took some cool vampire designs from an existing comic book and plunged them into a fairly standard thriller template, whose characters I can only remember now because one of them was Josh Hartnett and the rest weren’t.

In Eclipse, Slade favors that stuttery, drop-frame, fast-motion style of action directing that looks like he simply shot stuff in slow motion and then sped it up, all while goosing it so that you can’t quite make out what’s going on.

He gets off one good action sequence early on—a chase through the forest along a river bank, as Bryce Dallas Howard’s villainous Victoria leaps back and forth between werewolf and vampire territory while pursued by both. But the final showdown that makes up most of the trailers so far is no Underworld, and it’s not like the Underworld movies set a super high standard for that sort of thing.

The plot, for those who care and yet somehow don’t know it, goes something like this: Angry, widowed vampiress Victoria, as in New Moon, is continuing her really slow march toward revenge on Edward and Bella for killing her bloodthirsty mate in the first Twilight.

More importantly, as far as fans and the storyline are concerned, Bella continues to blow off Edward’s marriage proposals, despite being undoubtedly in love with him, all while selfishly leading on the considerably more rugged and practical wolf-boy Jacob.

Both men want to protect her from the inevitable showdown with Victoria’s new apprentice Riley (Xavier Samuel), but—hold your breath here, folks—they can only succeed if they stop bickering long enough to work together.

In fairness, said bickering is by far the highlight of the film. Slade plays the sitcom-ish jabs between both male leads as more obvious camp than prior directors did, giving Stephenie Meyer’s earnest world a welcome dose of humor. Here’s hoping Bill Condon can continue down that path in the fourth movie.

The 180—a Second Opinion: As is par for the course by now, Billy Burke’s Charlie Swan and Anna Kendrick’s Jessica steal every scene they’re in. Though, frankly, given the way Jessica has been portrayed onscreen, the fact that she’s valedictorian in this doesn’t speak too highly of Forks High School.

Well, the good news is that the third chapter of the “Twilight” saga, “Eclipse,” is better than the first two movies. The bad news is, not by much.

From a critical standpoint, that hardly matters, since the first two installments – 2008’s “Twilight” and 2009’s “New Moon” – grossed over $1 billion worldwide, despite generally poor reviews. And seeing as how Twilight-mania isn’t slowing down anytime soon, expect the third movie to follow suit, and in a very big way – it’s being released in a whopping 4,416 theaters domestically, making it the widest release pattern in Hollywood history.

In terms of its production values, there’s no question that “Eclipse” is proficiently made and features better special effects than its predecessors. If the first movie cost less than $30 million to make, the third movie cost more than $60 million – and it shows, especially in the action scenes, when they happen.

But despite the best efforts of David Slade (“Hard Candy,” “30 Days of Night”) – the third “Twilight” director in as many films, after Catherine Hardwicke and Chris Weitz – “Eclipse” is still bogged down by the poor plotting, slow pacing and sub-par acting that has, sadly, marred the film series all along.

Those shortcomings will continue to keep the movies (based on the successful book series written by Stephenie Meyer) from preaching to the non-converted, but Twi-hards will still find plenty to swoon about. After sitting out most of “New Moon,” lovestruck vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) returns to court Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), which poses a problem for the equally smitten werewolf, Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner).

Watching Edward and Jacob fight over Bella turns out to be one of the best parts of “Eclipse,” regardless of Pattinson’s monotone performance or Lautner’s almost laughable attempt to pose a threat – especially when he’s shirtless, which is most of the time. That’s because despite the sappy dialogue (courtesy of screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, who also wrote the first two movies), the three actors do share a strong connection that prevails over the other shortcomings.

It’s too bad that Slade, who infused nail-biting intensity into 2005’s “Hard Candy,” couldn’t whip Rosenberg’s screenplay into a better narrative. As it is, the backstory – in which the Wolfpack and the Cullens join forces to fight off an army of new vampires – barely registers, while the talents of Dakota Fanning (as Jane, the sadistic Volturi guard) and Bryce Dallas Howard (as vengeful Victoria, taking over from Rachelle Lefevre) feel wasted with all-too-brief supporting roles.

But critics be damned, because “Twilight” fans will love “Eclipse” no matter what, since it will give them more of what they want. And you can’t knock “Eclipse” for the bad acting – let’s face it, Mark Hamill didn’t give Oscar-worthy performances in the original “Star Wars” movies, and it hardly mattered. So expect “Eclipse” to be the biggest “Twilight” movie of them all – at least, until November 18, 2011, which is when the fourth installment, “Breaking Dawn: Part 1,” opens.

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It’s all too tempting to look down on the Twilight movie series — based on Stephenie Meyer’s explosively popular series of novels — as quickie pictures designed to herd in large audiences of indiscriminate, ticket-buying, Robert Pattinson-and/or-Taylor Lautner-loving teen- and tweenage girls. And with the exception of the first movie in the series, directed by Catherine Hardwicke, that’s exactly what they are. The real horror isn’t simply that these movies are bad — plenty of us were raised on, and loved, junk movies and crap TV. It’s that the folks at the top don’t think teen and tween audiences deserve better. The latest installment, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, directed by David Slade (30 Days of Night, Hard Candy), while admittedly an improvement over last year’s barely coherent New Moon, only adds insult to injury. Nothing so grand as a real eclipse, it’s more just a massive blind spot.

The plot of Eclipse is nearly impossible to follow until you realize that the story isn’t told so much as it’s announced. Watch for signpost dialogue along the lines of “Victoria is behind all this!” and “The Newborn Army is coming!” Essentially, a bunch of young people in Seattle are being turned into “newborn” vampires — vampires, we’re told, are hungriest and most ruthless when they’re young. These snarling, golden-eyed ragamuffins may be puppets-in-training. And they just may make their way from Seattle to Forks, Washington, home of high school senior Bella (Kristen Stewart). Do they want to kill her, intimidate her, or just sniff her flannel shirt? The vampire Cullens and the werewolf Wolf Pack set aside their differences to protect Bella and their respective communities from the Newborns.

Meanwhile, eternal paleface Edward Cullen (Pattinson) and passionate, nature-loving Native American Jacob Black (Lautner) vie for Bella’s affections. Edward, the old-fashioned type, has vowed that he’ll love her beyond the end of time into infinity — squared! — and asks repeatedly for her hand in marriage. Jacob has assured her, practically in so many words, that he’s hot in the sack. Bella must choose, but whom? She spends the movie living out the allegedly universal girl-fantasy of having two awesome guys, one hot and one cool, fight over you.

That’s about it, story-wise. In between, Edward gazes at Bella with piercing directness, intoning some version of the line, “Your safety is everything to me.” Jacob stares her down with a look that’s supposed to be sensual and smoldering, though he really only looks as if he’s just swallowed a chipmunk. Meanwhile, his Wolf Pack Buddies, in their human form, galavant barechested through the forest in their cutoff pants, pissed off because they can’t find any new Don Ho records to listen to. In CGI-wolf form, they at least have some innate dignity.

To its credit, Eclipse looks better than its direct predecessor. (The DP is Javier Aguirresarobe, who shot The Road.) As in the earlier pictures, we get lots of sweeping, panoramic shots of the Pacific Northwest woods, but here they look particularly crisp and sparkling. In two scenes Edward and Bella loll in a sun-dappled flower-strewn field straight out of a Prince Matchabelli ad. (Edward is careful to stay in the shade, but when the sun hits the angular planes of his face, his telltale vampire diamond-skin shimmers like blingy peach fuzz.) These two sequences are ridiculously beautiful to look at, sublime in their silliness, and they rekindle some of the go-for-broke teen-heartthrob romanticism that Hardwicke’s Twilight captured so well. That picture reveled unapologetically in teen girliness: Its intentions were honest and straightforward without seeming mechanized.

But now that we’ve hit the third picture in the franchise, it’s clear the studio behind it, Summit, actually prefers that the movies be programmed and predictable. It also looks as if the strain of following the series template so strictly is beginning to wear on the young actors: It’s part of Stewart’s style to look a little bored and blasé, but in Eclipse she seems to have completely checked out. When she searches the faces of her two dueling guy pals, wondering which one she loves better, her eyes show little more than an eeny-meeny-miney-moe blankness. And Pattinson appears to have given up altogether, although I don’t think he’ll let down his adoring audience — he tries, at least, to look at Stewart as if she were the sun and the moon combined, and his efforts are moderately convincing if you don’t look too closely.

But mostly, these two performers seem caught in a pantomime designed to elicit cheers and cooing from its target demographic. Obviously, the Twilight movies attract an audience beyond tween girls, but there’s little doubt these movies are tailored specifically to them. That’s not a bad thing by itself. What stings is that the movies are made with so little regard for clear storytelling, or even for building a lush, romantic mood. (Filling a movie with brooding lines of dialogue isn’t the same thing.) No one is really thinking of the audience here beyond how its members translate into dollar signs.

Many, many girls and young women will see Eclipse and will either love it or like it just fine. Maybe all that matters is that they had a good time — as I said earlier, they won’t be the first kids to have fun while watching junk. Still, they’re worthy of something more. Eclipse fulfills its function adequately; if only the bar weren’t set so low.

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Who’s In It: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Bryce Dallas Howard, Xavier Samuel, Elisabeth Reaser, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Ashley Greene, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Julia Jones, Chaske Spencer, Alex Meraz, Bronson Pelletier, Kiowa Gordon, Booboo Stewart, Christian Serratos, Michael Welch, Justin Chon, Anna Kendrick, Dakota Fanning

The Basics: High school senior Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), newly reunited with her sparkly vampire boyfriend, is now struggling with the decisions that every teenage girl must face: Have sex or stay chaste? Go to college or go undead? Team Edward (Robert Pattinson) or Team Jacob (Taylor Lautner)? Giving Bella’s life even more of a sense of urgency is a new threat by the vampire Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) and her army of zombie-like “newborns,” who wreak havoc across Seattle before heading straight for Forks, WA with one objective: kill Bella Swan. Will Bella quit making out with both of her supernatural beaus long enough to let them protect her? Will male audiences dig the violence enough to forget the super-talky relationship convos and the bland emo-rock soundtrack? And if a Twi-hard squeals in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does she really make a sound?

What’s The Deal: As with the previous two Twilight films, one’s enjoyment is directly proportionate to one’s familiarity with and love for Stephenie Meyer’s source novels. Fans with dog-eared copies of Eclipse should be delighted with screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg’s faithfulness to the book, allowing for slight changes that up the cinematic ante as needed — and they’ll certainly shriek over the numerous makeout scenes that Rosenberg has generously sprinkled throughout. (ZOMG!) But while director David Slade (30 Days of Night) does an admirable job of keeping Meyer’s sprawling story on pace and gives handsome visual life to Eclipse with the help of returning DP Javier Aguirresarobe, the script spends too much time on long stretches of plot-building dialogue and torrid, tortured conversations to really captivate the uninitiated. Granted, that fidelity is essential if you want to please the hardcore. But Meyer’s third book had the potential to be adapted into the kind of truly dark and action-packed third film that could bring new viewers to the franchise, and even as the most balanced of the three Twilight films thus far, Eclipse is not quite the departure from formula that it promised to be.

When Eclipse Acts Like The (PG-13) Horror Film I Wanted To See: When it focuses on its villains, the evil vampire Victoria (Howard, taking over for Rachel Lefevre) and her minion/lover, Riley (Xavier Samuel). Slade films their movements in Seattle like a horror film within the film, dark and sinister and full of atmosphere. The sight of Riley and his vamps slowly rising out of the water creates a palpable, skin-tingling sense of dread. Elsewhere, flashbacks to Rosalie (Nikki Reed) and Jasper’s (Jackson Rathbone) respective origin stories are deliciously gloomy departures (Slade inserts a particularly striking shot of Civil War-era Jasper coming for the audience through the screen that’ll rattle your bones). And though you’ll have to wait until the end, the film’s arm-ripping, head-shattering vampire vs. vampire vs. werewolf fight in the clearing is an impressive feat of live-action/CGI battle choreography with gruesome, if bloodless, results.

Who’s Done Some Growing Up Since New Moon: Kristen Stewart. The 20-year-old actress drops her trademark stammering/blinking/hair pulling awkward teenager tics to give Bella a much-needed air of newfound confidence. Maybe it’s part of Bella’s teenage sexual aggression, on display as Stewart attempts to pry Pattinson’s clothes off for some pre-marital sex. (He says no, but proposes. Ah, compromise.) Or from Bella finally owning up to the fact that she’s strung poor Jacob along for two films. Perhaps it’s all thanks to Rosenberg, who gives Stewart an assertive third-act monologue that shows that Bella knows full well the ramifications of her decisions: dying to become a vampire is a lifestyle choice, not just a silly schoolgirl crush taken to the extreme. Either way, this new Bella Swan is the most welcome addition to the Twilight Saga — that, and the sly humor Rosenberg’s snuck into the film (Edward on Jacob: “Doesn’t he own a shirt?” Jacob to Edward: “We both know I’m hotter than you.”).

The Ideal Way To See Eclipse: On a standard non-IMAX screen with your fellow Twi-hards in attendance, whose squeals will drown out your own screams of excitement. Because you, Twilighters, will get the most out of this movie, and you might as well enjoy it. But do make sure to avoid IMAX screenings; Slade does beautiful aerial landscape shots and action well, but he also films his torrid teenage talky scenes in EXTREME close-up. Watching Eclipse in IMAX feels like sitting in the first row as ginormous teenage heads are projected onto a Jumbotron. Good for studying Robert Pattinson’s pores, Lautner’s abs, and every inch of those lip locks, yes, but less effective for following the picture as a whole. Then again, what Twilight fan doesn’t want RPattz and KStew and Taylor Lautner all up in their faces for two hours, commandeering every synapse of their brains like the teen idol deities they are?

Opens: Wednesday 6/30

Us Rating: ***

Twilight returns – and Eclipse delivers! Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) swings between Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner); one’s her mate, the other’s her friend. Or so the high school senior tries to convince herself, steamy kisses to the contrary. Meanwhile, avenging redhead Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) creates an army of newborn vampires in Seattle to slay Bella before summer vacation — and squash the Cullens. With a new director (Hard Candy’s David Slade), and renewed energy, the threequel balances PG-13 romance and bone-crunching action in a way that will satisfy Twi-Hards and appeal to supernatural romantics who haven’t completely converted to TV’s True Blood.

Biases out: I’m team Edward all the way, and Pattinson delivers moony beauty cut with rueful wisdom, wit and passion — he’s so “old school,” as Bella complains when he won’t unzip before marriage. Earthy werewolf Jacob pulls hard in the opposite direction, shirt repeatedly off and pack tattoo displayed on hard muscle. (“Doesn’t he have a shirt?” Edward asks wryly, in the kind of self-deflating humor that riffs through Eclipse.) Stewart sulks in the middle, a self-described “Switzerland” in the vampires-versus-werewolves conflict. She’s the perfect moody teenager rocking jeans and mascara, a beauty inside and out just trying to find a place in the world where she feels real.

Sure, the central love triangle drives the movie, but we couldn’t get enough of the character flashbacks that reveal how various Cullens earned their fangs. In one, Southern gent Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) recalls being a Confederate Major turned by the mysterious Maria to raise, and then slay, a corps of newborns — it could be its own stand-alone film in an exhilarating series that’s as undead as Edward, as muscular as Jacob.

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While The Twilight Saga may boast an impressive, deep cast, let’s face it: this franchise is all about its three main stars.

For that reason, New Moon fell a bit flat, as Robert Pattinson scarcely appeared as Edward and we were left with too much of Bella sitting around and simply pondering her life. Granted, Taylor Lautner took his shirt off a lot, but here’s the great news about Eclipse:

Jacob is once again topless most of the time – but he isn’t the only one heating up the screen. Having been treated to a screening of Eclipse, we can confirm: it’s by far the most action-packed of all three Twilight films, and it’s also the best. Here’s why:

Bella’s internal conflict has external consequences. Jacob or Edward? Edward or Jacob? This love triangle is at the forefront of the film, but it’s placed against the backdrop of a centuries-old feud between werewolves and vampires.

This is far more than typical teenage angst; this is Bella needing to make a decision, the ramifications of which will impact all the lives around her. When Jacob and Edward agree to an alliance in order to protect the girl they love, even men in the audience might stand up and cheer. It’s exciting, selfless stuff.

The movie has a sense of humor. Early on, Edward says of Jacob: “Doesn’t he own a shirt?” It’s a cute, light-hearted wink at the audience and the pop culture phenomenon the franchise has become.

Jacob vs. Edward. Choosing a Team in this rivalry is a necessity for all fans, and Eclipse sets up more of a dichotomy than ever before. At one point, Bella complains that Edward won’t “unzip before marriage.” Meanwhile, Jacob simply oozes sweat and sex appeal. The former is old school, the latter… well, he’s ready to pounce. These differences make Bella’s dilemma all the more stark, which makes it that much more interesting to watch.

The tent scene. Trust us.

The flashbacks. Through a series of character flashbacks, we learn how multiple Cullens earned their fangs. Jasper’s tale of being a Confederate Major is especially gripping.

Great special effects. The movie climaxes with a showdown between wolves and vampires (and one human, of course) that may not be at the level of Avatar, but it makes tremendous use of CGI. Overall, the action is on par with many summer popcorn flicks.

In the end, it’s easy to understand why the Twilight Saga appeals to teenage girls everywhere: two gorgeous guys aren’t just in love with Bella, they are willing to do absolutely anything for her. It’s the stuff we all dream about.

But Eclipse adds action, adventure and history to that simple storyline. It combines the best elements of the first two films and we strongly recommend it to all readers.

Rating: 4.8 stars out of 5

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The contest to win Bella’s heart may be more serious than ever, but that doesn’t mean her romantic rivals are entirely without a sense of humour.

When Edward (Robert Pattinson) reluctantly delivers his beloved Bella (Kristen Stewart) into the protection of a typically topless Jacob (Taylor Lautner) midway through the third installment of the Twilight saga, the vampire rightly wonders, “Doesn’t he own a shirt?” Leaden and quip-less in the previous entries, the buff werewolf has also grown wittier. As they both watch over Bella in a tent high up on a snowy mountain, Jacob insists that it’s up to him to save her from hypothermia – by slipping into her sleeping bag and warming her up. “Face it,” he says with a grin to the pale-faced Edward, “I am hotter than you.”

Of course, that debate will continue to rage on, seeing as the film franchise spawned by Stephenie Meyer’s young-adult novels has at least two more movies to go. In the meantime, Eclipse may find favour with more than the millions of Twihards already devoted to the series. Better staged and more briskly paced than its predecessors, yet just as swoony in its evocation of grand passion and impossible love, Eclipse rates as the most assured piece of filmmaking the franchise has produced. The fact that director David Slade, screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg and the cast allow for more moments of lightness than Meyer’s angst-ridden universe previously allowed actually makes the material seem richer and wiser.

That said, we’re not talking Chekhov here; we’re not up to the moral complexity or stylistic audacity of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, either. When we last left Bella and Edward, he had just proposed marriage to her. She agreed, on the condition that she too be made immortal, a stipulation that had already been decreed by the Volturi overlords with whom the couple tangled in New Moon. Edward remains unhappy about this part of the prenuptial agreement, due to the pain and suffering that will be caused by her vampirization.

As for the shirtless Jacob, he remains her furry second fiddle. Again and again, he implores Bella to choose him instead – “I’m gonna fight for you until your heart stops beating,” he says, well aware of the statement’s double meaning. Yet these enemies must help forge a temporary alliance between both of their supernatural clans if they are to save Bella from the threat posed by Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard, taking over the role from Rachelle Lefevre). Still seeking vengeance after Edward and the Cullens killed her mate James way back in the first movie – doesn’t the fall of 2008 feel like three centuries ago? – the red-haired vamp is returning to town with a freshly created army of bloodsuckers.

Scenes dominated by penetrating gazes and intense conversations far outnumber the action sequences, but like many aspects of the film, the latter are distinguished by a big step up in quality. Polished and exciting, they also feature less of the crappy CGI that even had Twihards cringing. Inheriting the director’s chair from Catherine Hardwicke and Chris Weitz, Slade – who won breakout performances from Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson in his 2005 indie thriller Hard Candy – has fashioned a more compelling work without neglecting the elements that have made Twilight the reigning pop-gothic melodrama of our age.

Of course, Slade has the advantage of having a more confident cast. Pattinson and Lautner have learned how to poke fun at their beefcake status while still investing their characters with the gravitas they require. As for Stewart – who was a tough, terse Joan Jett in The Runaways – she’s added several notes to Bella’s emotional repertoire, moving beyond the hesitant speech and hair-tugging tic that have made her so easy to parody. As a result, there’s considerable poignancy in the scenes in which Bella confronts the fact that her decision to be with Edward means leaving all of her mortal loved ones, including her parents.

It helps that, much like a certain young wizard, she’s facing a more adult set of dilemmas at this stage of her journey. Jacob is tempting not just because of Lautner’s impeccable abs, but because of the notion that he represents: namely, that she may have been wrong to believe in the romantic ideal of one true love. She must ponder the idea that she may experience many loves in a single lifetime, and be none the poorer for it.

Not that she’s suddenly gonna get promiscuous. Meyer’s much-analyzed abstinence agenda comes to the fore in a scene in which Edward cools Bella’s ardour despite her willingness to sacrifice her virginity before their wedding day. “I’m from a different era,” he says, applying the brakes. “Things were a lot less complicated.” He then produces the long-promised engagement ring, the sight of which inspired a chorus of oohs – and one cry of “It’s so ugly!” – in the audience at my screening.

Needless to say, there were no such expressions of dissent whenever Lautner appeared on screen. A shot of Bella nuzzling Jacob in werewolf form caused more approving noises – indeed, what could be better than being with a snuggly boyfriend and a warm Siberian husky at the same time?

Edward’s going to have to work pretty hard to outdo that. One solution: a new fun-fur wardrobe.

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Rating:Three stars out of five

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Eclipse may well be the best-executed instalment in The Twilight Saga, but when it comes right down to it, how Oscar-worthy do you really want a vampire movie to be?

Not that anyone outside Kristen Stewart would even stand a whisper of a chance at the baldly coveted trophy, because out of all the schmaltz that pours from everyone’s mouths over the course of this sap session, she’s the only one who actually makes us believe the nonsense.

And let’s be real: These movies, and this entire franchise created at the hand of writer Stephenie Meyer, are exercises in — and lusty celebrations of — nonsense: Not only are we swallowing a goofy story of vampires, werewolves and sadistic, supernatural powers, but we’re asked to suspend judgment on truly illogical human behaviour.

Not to be too Mr. Spock about the heaving heartache of teen romance, and the perpetual resonance of a Romeo and Juliet narrative of impossible — and frustratingly unconsummated — love, but if you boldly go into the universe of serious drama in a genre designed for camp, you’re asking for trouble.

Director David Slade clearly wanted to push the boundaries of the known Twilight world with this third chapter by really playing up the dramatic scenes as earnest moments of youthful discovery instead of mere waypoints in the plot.

He urges his peach-faced cast to stretch into a much bigger frame. From extended dialogue to lingering close-ups, Slade offers up a huge canvas to the just-past-pubescence players in the hopes they’ll be able to fill the gaping holes of inanity.

It’s a nice gesture, and one the ambitious and largely talented cast sinks its collective fangs into, but really: To what end? To make us really believe in the universal truth of teen desire? A Saturday afternoon at the local mall can do that, or, if you’re in a hurry, five minutes at a 7-Eleven past midnight, when the young gropers either neck or break up at the Slurpee dispenser.

We’ve all been there, and there is no shame attached to either lust or Slurpees. We should celebrate all the gifts before us, but we should also be able to laugh at the extremes, otherwise we lose perspective on the bigger picture. And for all the extra dimensions Slade brings to the whole process, squeezing sanguine emotion from ham and cheese is a lost cause.

If anything, it drains the fun from the throbbing vein of silliness in a story about a young woman who’s fallen hopelessly in love with a cold-skinned, but very handsome, vampire.

The continuing saga of Bella (Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) revolves around whether or not Bella will surrender her humanity, and her heartbeat, to Edward in order for them to consummate their love.

She’s so hot for him. But he’s so cold — because he wants to get married before he turns Bella into a vampire so he can live in his immortal death state without Christian guilt.

Even Bella’s dad is beginning to warm to the icy-skinned teen as a result of his pro-abstinence point of view, but Eclipse finds Bella unhappy yet again. She wants to risk sex with Edward while still in her “human” state, even though it could “kill her.”

Edward admits to being old-fashioned, even jealous and violent. But gosh darn it: Bella is in love, and that’s sacred. It’s worth the ultimate sacrifice.

One scene between her and Edward’s vampire “sister” Rosalie (Nikki Reed) brings this core issue of free will about “life and death” and “love and marriage” into focus, but the big questions are never fully addressed, despite the space and time Slade gives the denouement.

By the time we get to the big showdown between the bad vampires, the good vampires, the werewolves and the truly evil royal bloodsuckers, the only thing left in the bag is humour — and there are a few faint giggles towards the soapy end, but only enough to make us miss the lack of fun for the preceding two hours.

For those Twihards who take the franchise very seriously, Eclipse’s earnest tilt will be a welcome turn for the better. For the rest of us rubes, this slick and cinematic effort will feel a little like West Side Story — without the music.

CAPSULE REVIEW: Eclipse — This third instalment in the Twilight franchise brings Bella (Kristen Stewart) to the brink of marriage to Edward, the nice-boy vampire (Robert Pattinson). The only thing standing in their way is a werewolf with a crush and a looming war with a rival vampire army. Though well-made and as well-acted as the script allowed, the movie takes itself so seriously it borders on draining. Rating: Three stars out of five — Katherine Monk

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It begins in battle. Newborn vampires on the attack. And for an exciting moment you think that maybe The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will stop already with vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and werewolf Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) mooning over a human teen, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), like they did in the first two Twilight movies. You’d be wrong.

Eclipse is being presold as the best Twilight movie so far. Faint praise, indeed. And also misleading. The first Twilight movie, released in 2008, is still the most bearable because director Catherine Hardwicke dove into the adolescent angst of Stephenie Meyer’s novel without an ounce of condescension. Last year’s The Twilight Saga: New Moon, directed by Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass), took the camp approach. And Eclipse, directed by David Slade who covered vamp territory before in 2007′s 30 Days of Night, commendably tries to move things along when the romantically overheated script allows, which isn’t bloody often.

That’s a shame since Slade made something combustible of 2006′s Hard Candy as Ellen Page went medieval on the ass of a sexual predator. Eclipse plays it PG-13 safe, as do all the Twilight movies. It’d be easy to blame Melissa Rosenberg, who scripted all three Twilight movies, but it’s clear from her duties as head writer on Showtime’s acclaimed Dexter series that Rosenberg is both talented and audacious. Are the movies too faithful to Meyer’s novels? I wish. The books have fire. It’s the lucrative audience of pubescent girls that is being coddled. You want vampire sex with bite, try HBO’s True Blood of the CW’s underrated The Vampire Diaries. Twilight is catnip for fraidycats.

What’s up in number three? Bella has to choose between Edward, the dreamy vampire who never bears his fangs, and Jacob, the ab-fab wolf who never wears a shirt. As if everyone doesn’t know it’s KStew and RPattz all the way. The acting in Eclipse is so soap opera breathless “tight close-ups suck the air out of every scene” it might as well be called The Young and the Undead Restless. The big moment in a tent while the snows of the Pacific Northwest rage outside involves a naked Jacob warming up Bella in a sleeping bag to protect her from frostbite while cold Edward glares at his rival. Actually the heat here is unintentionally homoerotic as Jacob and Edward admit they’d probably like each other if they both didn’t love Bella. Suddenly, it’s an eyelash-fluttering Brokeback Eclipse, and quite hilarious.

Even funnier is the scene in which Bella nuzzles up to Jacob, now transformed into a wolf, and whispers sweet nothings into his fur. These digital wolves generate all the terror of Rin Tin Tin during puppy day at a kennel.

Which brings us to those newborns. Led by Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard replacing Rachel Lefevre), a lady vamp out for vengeance against Edward and his family for killing her lover, the newborns do indeed ignite a few scares. As do the Volturi, a coven of vampire enforcers led by the angel-faced Jane. Dakota Fanning underplays Jane with delicious wit and menace. “Decisions, decisions,” she says, musing over whether to let the rebel vampires kill themselves or end them Volturi style. One of these newbies, Bree Tanner (Jodelle Ferland), is the subject of a new Meyer novella, The Short, Second Life of Bree Tanner, which shows real film potential by the nature of its focus and brevity. Meyer’s larger Twilight novels suffer onscreen by having so many characters squeezed into a two-hour running time. It’s hell on actors. Peter Facinelli as Edward’s doctor father, Ashley Greene as his precog sister Alice, Nikki Reed as the tragic Rosalie, Anna Kendrick as Bella’s friend Jessica, and newcomer Xavier Samuel as Riley, Victoria’s love slave, could really let it rip if Hollywood didn’t reduce their backstories to snippets.

Maybe the Oscar-winning Bill Condon (Gods and Monsters, Dreamgirls) will have better luck when he turns Breaking Dawn, the last of Meyer’s four Twilight novels, into two movies. We can always hope. For now, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is just one more walk on the mild sides for tweens who dream of being penetrated by cold flesh that will keep them young and cute forever.

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Robert Pattinson is reclining in a sumptuous suite in the five-star Four Seasons Hotel New York.
His hair is shorter and less wild than usual. His sultry eyes look tired. But despite this, Robert Pattinson seems more relaxed and happy than ever.

With the third Twilight film, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, being released, as well as another film, Bel Ami, coming out this year, his career couldn’t be in a better place.

The 24 year old’s personal life is stronger than ever, too. After years of denying a romance between him and his co-star Kristen Stewart, 20, both of them are starting to acknowledge publicly that they’re an item.

When new! asks about her, Robert is careful about how much he gives away, but can’t stop his face lighting up.

Here, the British movie star talks about his relationship, his efforts to stay out the spotlight and what he’s really like…

There’s always speculation about your relationship with Kristen Stewart. What’s going on between you?
Kristen and I have lived a great adventure together with the Twilight films. We are very close and no one can understand what we’ve gone through together the last few years. When we’re together, we understand each other so well that we don’t have to say a lot to explain what we’re thinking. Kristen is a wonderful girl.

You’re in the middle of all the hype around the Twilight films – how are you dealing with it all?
It’s not difficult to be in my position! You’re very well looked after and you don’t have to exert much effort to do anything. An actor in my position is very spoiled and so I have nothing to complain about. This is a pretty good life actually!

Do women constantly throw themselves at you?
No! But I’m not trying to attract a lot of attention either. I also don’t want to disappoint girls who might think I’m very cool and smooth, which I’m not, I’m afraid. I’m still quite shy, although that seems to be something of an attraction for women. [Laughs]

Can you go out and about without mobs chasing you?
Yes. I simply avoid going to very popular places in LA or London and I’ve been so tired the last several months that I can’t even imagine going out to clubs and partying any more. I wind up going to bed at 10pm most nights because I’m exhausted. I spend most of my time living out of hotel rooms, reading scripts and listening to music or playing music with some friends. But recently I had a chance to spend some time in London while filming Bel Ami and I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to walk around very freely without attracting any attention. It was wonderful! I can’t do that over here in the US. People tell me that Paris is the same way and so maybe I’ll spend some time over there, too! Sitting in cafés and reading Le Monde and smoking Gitanes. Actually, I’m trying to stop smoking, so cancel the smoking part! [Laughs]

Your female admirers would love to know how your own personality resembles your character Edward’s…
So would I! [Laughs] I do bear some similarities in the sense that I’m not good at romance. In The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Edward leaves Bella without any explanation because he thinks that’s best for her. We all make those kind of blunders in our romantic lives. It’s happened to me in the past where I broke up with a girl because I just didn’t think it was going to work out between us. And I’ve been dumped without explanation as well. I also think I lack basic finesse when it comes to women. I give up too easily even if I’m very attracted to someone.

Why do you think people are still so obsessed with the Twilight films?
There’s this tremendous anticipation about when Edward and Bella are finally going to be lovers. That’s the great excitement about watching their story evolve and seeing where it leads them. You want the anticipation to be almost unbearable and in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Edward is more open and sure of himself. He’s also more vulnerable now and less severe about everything. That made it much more interesting for me as an actor in this film, where Edward can show more sides of himself and not just look pale and grim.

In your recent film, Remember Me, you play an angry teenager. Were you a rebel at that age?
I don’t think I was that angry as a teenager, although I will confess to being confused and frustrated. I suppose I had my moments of existential rebellion and could be a bit of a pain at times. For the most part, I think it takes time to find one’s identity and define one’s ambitions and goals in life. My experience as a teenager wasn’t that different from most of my friends. I wanted to change the world, make things better, make my mark. Then you grow bored with being disillusioned and alienated and now I’m trying to enjoy things more. It’s less stressful! You don’t have to change the world to be happy.

Are you concerned about your fame getting in the way of being seen as a proper actor?
You look at how people are judged in the public. The majority of the people who get beaten by it are the people who are seen all the time. So the less you’re seen then you’re alright. As long as you keep attempting to make quality films then eventually your name starts with something other than “meaningless celebrity”. It’s a difficult battle to make the work mean more than your celebrity. People like Johnny Depp have done that. He’s not judged at all for his public image, just his work is judged. It’s a lot of discipline and a lot of hiding.

When you look back at this time in your life ten years from now, what will you think about it all?
That it was this wonderfully insane time in my life that was actually a lot less fun than it maybe should have been for me. I think I’m only just beginning to enjoy everything about it!

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will be released in cinemas across the UK and Ireland on July 9, with advance screenings on July 3 and 4.

Looks like the third time’s the charm with the young-adult fantasy franchises. It wasn’t until Prisoner of Azkaban that the Harry Potter films really came into their own, and now Eclipse brings the Twilight series into the big leagues. It still isn’t great, and there still isn’t much crossover appeal, but it’s easily the best of the three films so far, with a well-constructed story, suitable climaxes, and — at last! — a main character who occasionally thinks for herself rather than being defined by her monster boyfriends. The men who are coerced into seeing Eclipse with their ladyfolk will surely enjoy this one more than the last two.

Our story begins with vampire fetishist Bella Swann (Kristen Stewart) about to finish high school. She hopes her undead boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) will give her immortality as a graduation gift; Edward hopes he can convince Bella to marry him before he vampirizes her, as he is old-fashioned and courtly. Meanwhile, Native American werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner), the poor sap, still hopes Bella will forget the blood-sucker and choose him.

But there are larger issues to deal with. The problems of three little people, or one little person and two monsters, don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. In nearby Seattle, young people are going missing in large numbers, apparently being converted by a rogue vampire named Riley (Xavier Samuel), who’s assembling an army of reckless and especially bloodthirsty new recruits. Bella and company still have Victoria to worry about, too. She might have shapeshifted from Rachelle Lefevre into Bryce Dallas Howard (a lateral move at best), but her goal of killing Bella remains intact.

As you know, the vampires and the werewolves don’t cotton to each other. They cotton to a lot of things, but each other is not one of them. But when it’s discovered that Riley is stalking Bella for an unknown but surely nefarious purpose, the wolfmen and the draculas resolve to join forces to keep her safe. This means a temporary truce between Edward and Jacob and their respective teams.

Oh, and the Volturi, the supreme vampire council: They are also in this movie. One of them is still Dakota Fanning.

Once again adapted by Melissa Rosenberg from Stephenie Meyer’s novel, Eclipse was directed by David Slade, who made the energetically creepy vampire flick 30 Days of Night a few years ago, as well as the unsettling Hard Candy (which, like Twilight, is about a teenage girl being stalked by a much-older man). He turns out to have been a good fit for the material. Eclipse is a little darker and more violent than its predecessors, and it has quite a bit less brooding and general mushiness (though still enough, I suspect, to satisfy fans of the books). The climactic battles, though brief, are respectably thrilling. For the first time, I’m interested in ancillary characters like Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) and Rosalie (Nikki Reed), whose pre-vampire backstories we learn here — and not just for kicks, either, as the new information we get on them figures into the current crisis.

Some of this newfound storytelling sophistication might be in the novel, too (I haven’t read it), but it’s Slade, Rosenberg, and the actors who make it work on the screen. Bella is still saddled with eye-rolling lines like “There’s nothing I’m ever going to want more than Edward,” and she still narrates the film only occasionally (a sign of lazy screenwriting) — but she also has believable conflicts and makes actual decisions, almost like a real grown up would. Stewart, Pattinson, and Lautner are all getting better as they get older, gradually giving their characters more nuance than they started with.

The final book in the series, Breaking Dawn, will be split into two films, with yet another director, Bill Condon, taking over. I hope he can build on Slade’s momentum and continue the franchise’s upward progression. If they keep improving like this, the people who automatically hate the films just because they’re popular with teenage girls will be forced to reconsider.

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