Dear Ted:
What’s the deal with almost the entire cast of Twilight being chain smokers? The thought of smoker’s breath, yellow fingers and hacking coughs is ruining my fantasies! (Not to mention making it “cool” for a whole new generation who view the paparazzi photos).
—Can’t Seem to Butt Out

Dear Up in Smoke:
Babe, don’t you think it would be a little bit stressful to step into shoes belonging to R.Pattz, KStew or any of those other vamp/vamp-lovers? But you’re right; it’s gross and I’m currently seriously contemplating quitting again myself. Wish me luck.

Dear Ted:
I saw some of the most disturbing pap pics of Robert Pattinson today. One guy was smiling while jamming a camera an inch from his face. My heart ached for Rob. How can the paps get away with this? A pure violation and a threat to his personal space. Isn’t that harassment out in L.A.?! Lady Di died being chased by paps. Haven’t we learned anything after all these years? I hope he leaves the country after he’s done filming.
—PG

Dear Hell-Ay:
Hollywood plays by a whole different set of rules, doll. And while celebs get oodles of special privileges, sure, they also sadly lose the ability to have even a smidgen of a private life. Which especially sucks for those stars who actually want a private life and aren’t calling the paps to meet up with them on Melrose.

Dear Ted:
In a recent Bitch-Back, you said that Robsten would break up before Zanessa. Could you give us, in your opinion, why you think that is more likely and maybe who or what would break them up? By the way, I haven’t adopted an animal, but I did take in a pregnant stray that gave me four fuzzy kittens, and I also feed all the neighborhood stray cats and dogs. That’s like having 20 kids to feed!
—Jessey

Dear Purr-fect:
Kisses to all your kitties, Jess. As for Zanessa, call me crazy, but I could actually see them tying the knot. Can’t you?

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