1. We’re in the wrong industry. Mark today’s date on the calendar as the day we quit our jobs at TheFABlife and became wardrobe assistants. This fellow in plaid is living the life. We’d gladly take a paycut volunteer to fondle Rob’s buttons all day.

2. Rob was not actually attacked by a lion on set. While the caption on these photos said “Robert Pattinson is bitten by a lion,” someone clearly took a trip the makeup department of the nearest Halloween store and slapped this fake wound on Rob’s hand. Pretty low-budg for a major feature film, right? Fake as it is, we’ll gladly play nurse.

3. Wool pants don’t do Rob any favors. Let us first (for the millionth time) declare our undying love/lust for Rob. The guy’s gorgeous. What he lacks is butt. His lil’ rear is usually concealed in well-tailored suits and skinny jeans, but these high-waisted pants…well, we hate to say it, but they’re giving him a case of “grandpa butt.”

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