Born, bred and raised a San Francisco Giants fan, I was stunned when I heard the announcers compare their (adorable) pitcher, who was sick yesterday, to Twilight’s Edward Cullen! Who knew two of my worlds could collide?

We believe Rob is referring to this photo from back in the day:

There’s nothing going on between Robert Pattinson and Caitlin Cronenberg.

But Star magazine doesn’t seem to care.

“Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are in major crisis talks about their relationship – after she saw pictures of him with his stunning new love interest!” announces the tabloid, which claims Stewart is an “emotional wreck” because Pattinson and Cronenberg have been “canoodling.”

Wait. “Canoodling”? “Love interest”?

Um, Cronenberg, the photographer daughter of Cosmopolis director David Cronenberg, has been working on the set. Pattinson stars in the movie.

That’s it.

That’s the connection.

Except Star alleges that Stewart “heard through the grapevine that Rob and Caitlin were all over each other” at the July 14 wrap party.

Really?

Because the only photo Star can muster from the event shows Pattinson and Cronenberg standing next to each other, and not even touching.

We’re not sure Star knows what “canoodling” is — or “major crisis” or “love interest” or emotional wreck” or any of the other charged phrases tabloid uses to make a complete non-story seem scandalous.

A so-called “source” for Star says Stewart is “dating one of the most desirable men in the world, so any time they spend apart, she will always be questioning his fidelity!”

No, that’s why the magazine will be questioning Pattinson’s fidelity any time he and Stewart are in different cities.

And, as is so often the case, Star comes up empty.

Dear Ted:
What do you think the chances are that Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart will do another movie together?
—Suzanne

Dear Big Chance:
Rob wants to, at least. It’s harder than you’d think, to make sure they get the right characters and coordinating they’re cray-zee schedules and all. Fingers crossed.

Robert Pattinson

Twilight’s leading man has sported everything from a standard crew cut to flouncy waves to bed head, but now the actor is going for something even less balanced. At Comic-Con he revealed a semi-buzz—i.e., he shaved only the right half of his head. The exotic choice was originally for his upcoming film, Cosmopolis, but seemingly, Pattinson is a fan, perhaps because it means less maintenance. “I don’t really see the point in washing your hair,” he told Extra! in 2009. “If you don’t care if your hair’s clean or not, then why would you wash it?” At least now it’s easier to see if something is crawling in his follicles.

Thank you to @epnebelle!